STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
