dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
