So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
