We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
