I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
