I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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