Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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