He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
