IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
