is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
