i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
