what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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