I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
