Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
