Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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