I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
