why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I believe in your delicious
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
