I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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