My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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