talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
