Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
