And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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