i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
birth control should be required to get into college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
