the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
