all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
