even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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