I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
