I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
