News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
