I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
