bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
