just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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