I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
