do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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