quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
