So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
