i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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