i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
