And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
