so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He felt like a one man threesome
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
