I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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