Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
