my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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