Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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