What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
