she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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