They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
