She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
