I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
