I skipped work to stalk him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
