Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
