I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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