Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Pooping to opera.
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